How to view gifts properly
How to view gifts properly? The short answer How to View Gifts Properly is first to define what a gift is NOT!
A gift is NOT something that is given with the idea of getting something back. This might sound true at face value but basically, even though a genuine gift is presented without expecting repayment, there IS a payment in sort.
The payment is (looking at it from a guy’s perspective) that warm feeling you get when you see the look in your wife or girlfriends eye. It could perhaps be accompanied by a tear of happiness or a hug. (The opposite is true if you are a girl reading this article.) People who learn the art of heartfelt giving get so many happy rewards.
As a very well respected historical person once said: “there is more happiness in giving than receiving.” (Jesus) You only understand what that means if you are a generous giver. If everyone in this world acted unselfishly, caring for others as much as themselves, we would have a much happier planet and it would be automatic to view a gift properly and not have some sort of ulterior motive.
Really, we humans can’t do without one another. We need affection. We all need to feel wanted, liked, appreciated, respected, esteemed, cherished, valued, admired, Ja, loved. We just cannot do without it, even though some tough guys try to act as if they can. Secretly, I know some really big tough guys who cry like babies when no one is looking. (Some when others ARE looking)
It starts not long after birth.
I guess a lot of folks have heard about the little babies in the orphanages who thrived if their bassinette was close to where a hugging nurse walked by at night. Here is a modern day comment about this:
“Techniques of Touch: New Knowledge about Nurturing Newborns” mentions the history of non-touched babies. Infants placed in orphanages in Europe after World War II received nourishment, but they did not grow and many developed severe social problems. Doctors attributed this failure to thrive from a lack of parental touch.- http://www.ehow.com/facts_5633230_effect-human-contact-newborn-babies.html
How to view gifts properly? A Gift is a way of showing affection
As adults, we are often too proud to admit it but we all crave affection, and tangible gifts are often good ways of forming links between people. Boys to girls. Piger til drenge. Mænd til hustruer og vice versa. Familiemedlemmer og venner til hinanden.
Materielle genstande kan tjene et nyttigt formål, fordi de tjener som en påmindelse om nogens kærlighed eller påskønnelse af modtageren. Og hvis I derude ikke er for gode til at sige 'Jeg elsker dig,'En gave kan undertiden gøre det for dig. (Men du var bedre vant til at sige I.L.Y -bit også, hvis du vil beholde din pige)
Imidlertid, Der er en fare i dette. Verden er fuld af ting, som folk giver hinanden, og selvom det er interessant at eje den nye gadget, Alt for ofte lægges vægt på det materielle element, der gives, I stedet for på det varme menneskelige forhold plejer det hvilket er langt vigtigere.
And the prompts we receive to remind us of gift giving are dangers in themselves. The western world too often relies on events such as birthdays, Christmas, Mothers Day, Valentine’s days, etc to be reminded of the need to be generous and it’s unfortunate that people often feel under obligation to give on these occasions and this really takes away from the idea of giving altogether.
Gift giving can become something we are expected to do or ‘what will this person think if he/she doesn’t get a gift on this occasion?”
Desværre, this often results in (blandt andet) (1) Overspending, causing no little arguments and frustrations (2) Lack of appreciation for the gift, især fra små børns side ved juletid, der forventer gaver snarere end at modtage dem som en overraskelse som en belønning for god opførsel. Denne praksis har en tendens til at opdrætte egoistiske børn, der vokser op til ikke -værdsat voksne.
Sådanne ikke-værdsatte gaver ender ofte på den uønskede bunke ikke længe efter at den gave-give-begivenhed er forbi.
Dette er ikke til at sige, at vi skal opgive gaver. Gaver er gode måder at vise påskønnelse, eller udtrykker kærlighed til nogen, ofte uden at sige et ord. Vi bør bare prøve ikke at blive kontrolleret af det kommercielle system, der presser os til at give, når vi enten ikke har råd til det eller virkelig ikke gør det fra hjertet, som det burde være.
Prøv at være spontan i gaveudgivelse. Prøv ikke at skulle mindes om det. Prøv at udvikle et venligt hjerte og en anerkendende personlighed. På den måde, vores gaver, om et dejligt vedhæng til kona eller et par manchetknapper til manden, Et par øreringe til en kæreste, En ring til en kæreste eller bare et tankevækkende kort til nogle dejlige folk, som vi kender, vil være ægte, fra hjertet og ikke ud af en følelse af forpligtelse. Vi vil virkelig se en gave ordentligt.
Se på disse oplysninger For nogle fremragende råd om spørgsmålet om gaveudgivelse
- opal smykker Gaver
Hej Peter,
Jeg er enig med dine følelser på gaveudgivelse. Den største glæde kommer fra spontan give. Jeg har aldrig tilladt mig at blive bundet til den sæsonbestemte give, som kommercielle institutioner ser ud til at fremme for deres økonomiske gevinst, og giverne smerte. That becomes evident when people who can not afford it try to pay off their “plast” after being compelled to give seasonal gifts. Try something simple, give a complete stranger like the doctors receptionist a choclate bar next time they organize an appointment for you. Savour the reaction. DD.
Dennis, what an interesting concept. At the risk of having the secretary fainting after such an unexpected event it sure does prove a point. If we humans dont start treating one another better, we are all going to fade out. It really is a shame that we have to interpret many human relationships in money terms rather than in terms of just being nice to one another. Spontanistically (if there is such a word…microsoft says there’s not) speaking, De små ting, vi gør for hinanden, skaber en rigtig dejlig varm atmosfære. Hvis alle havde det samme synspunkt, Hvilken vidunderlig verden vi ville have. Men selvfølgelig ville der være en flok dovne mennesker, der bare ville vente med at få ting, jeg antager. Denne samtale er værdig til at følge igennem. Tak for dine kommentarer Dennis. Peter
Jeg er enig i det faktum, at som voksne, we are often too proud to admit it but we all crave affection, and tangible gifts are often good ways of forming links between people.
http://www.robertyoungsculpture.com.au
Helt enig Robert. Der er ikke nok generøsitet i denne verden. Det er uheldigt, at penge ser ud til at komme i vejen for menneskelige forhold, og folk sidestiller ofte værdien af en gave til, hvad de ville have kostet. Tanken bag det er meget vigtigere, og da artiklen understreger, Gaver skal være spontane, forventes ikke bare på grund af en begivenhed. Of course sometimes we need reminders to be generous but if we get into the habit, it comes naturally and not prompted by commercial interests. I just bought my wife a bunch of flowers. She knew it only cost me around $5 but she has been treasuring those flowers for a couple of weeks now. Taking out the dying ones and salvaging the good ones. And the bunch is always in an obvious place on the kitchen table. In fact i have to keep pushing it out of the way so i can eat dinner. Maybe she is trying to tell me something about being generous more often (smil)
I agree Robert. Sometimes a gift can speak when we find it hard to say anything. I like Dennis’ comment above about giving a chocolate bar to a receptionist. What a surprise that would be. It makes for really good human relationships.